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"YOUR FIRST FACE TO FACE MEETING WITH MR. OR MS. RIGHT".
by Michelle Goebel, owner and columnist of
Single Central, http://www.singlecentral.com
(permission for reprint to) DEER VALLEY PULSE NEWSPAPER, PHOENIX-January 2004 edition
OK, you’ve answered a personal ad either online or through the newspaper. Perhaps you’ve even exchanged photos or talked once via email/phone. Now it’s time to set up your first FACE TO FACE meeting of the person you just know is destined to be in your life forever. GREAT! Keep in mind, the goal for this encounter is to get an actual date. Here are some DO’s and DON’Ts for this first meeting that hopefully get you that date.
If you use a photo/video of yourself online or offline, DO use a recent photo or at least a photo that actually looks like you. This is one of the biggest complaints I’ve heard in this industry. If you’ve gained or lost a lot of weight, made a drastic change to the length of, or color of your hair, grew or removed a beard, photo is ten years old etc., you are not the person represented in the picture. The person you are trying to impress may feel cheated, which could lead to them having bad feelings about you.
Now, let’s say that you do look like your photo, talked via email/phone and everything is sounding pretty good. Where do you have this first meeting? Assuming this is someone you are not meeting through your church, a close friend or family member, meet in a public area. This is a stranger you are meeting for the first time. DO go to places like Starbucks, Borders, a sports bar etc. DO drive yourself. There are two reasons for this: One, you don’t want someone to know exactly where you live until you’ve had a chance to meet them. And two, you may not get along or like the person you’re meeting. Do you want to wait around for this person to drive you home? This brings me to another important point: DO NOT say you are going to call someone, if you aren’t. DO say how nice it was to meet them and that you are trying to meet as many nice people as you can. Most people are doing the same. DO keep this initial meeting short, (up to an hour). You want to leave them wanting an actual date. DON’T use this brief time to talk about what a loser your ex turned out to be. They’ll only wonder what you’ll have to say about them should a relationship begin and end in the future. DO pay for your own coffee/drink. I say this knowing one person will usually offer to pay for both people. That’s fine if you feel comfortable about it, but never assume that the other party will do so. It’s best to always have some money with you just in case.
Some of these guidelines may seem trivial to you, but it’s amazing how many times I hear some of these same complaints. Know that you’ll be excited and extremely nervous when you meet Mr. or Ms. Right. If these First Meeting Guidelines keep even one of you from blowing a first impression, then it was worth it. You can invite me to the wedding!
*If you have any questions about dating, or wish to notify Michelle of singles events in your area, please contact her at webmaster@singlecentral.com.